MarineVille's New Zealand Music Awards for 2004

ometime in 2002 David Hall gave our singer a best of Barry Manilow. I think he was trying to make some statement about his hair. Or Barry's. What do you think?

Our new album Diving the Wreck is out, and the post-Xmas reviews are starting to flow. Most have been positive, fantastic even, especially the Grant Smithies' Sunday Star-Times article.

About a month ago I decided to simulateneously complete my obligations to updating the website by creating the MarineVille's New Zealand Music Awards for 2004. I made about 2 and then got sick of being a smart arse. But oh well...

Most Daft Marketing Strategy By A New Zealand Musical Group: The New Zealand Symphony Orchestra.

In a desperate drive to counter the mortality rate of its audience, the marketing team at the NZSO trained its sights on 'Generation Next'. After photographing their cellists in short skirts and (gasp!) wearing sunglasses, the zany gang at the NZSO programmed the orchestra to perform in 2004 with:
• drag queen percussionist Gareth Farr,
• reformed junkie/ jazz-lite hipster Nathan Haines,
• chirpy popsters Goldenhorse, and
• perform Howard Shore's diabolical score for Lord of the Rings.

They could just drop the prices below $50 a seat and play some classical music.

Most Unbelievable Attempt At Feigning Street-wise Cred: Ben Lummis (New Zealand Idol)

Narrowly beating off a volley of wet lettuce from judge Fiona McDonald, Benji took out the inaugral Hutt Valley karaoke night competition by tough-guy grinding his way through the songbooks of Messrs Taupin and John in the style of MC Hammer whilst preaching the virtues of celibacy. With NZ's pre-teens failing to rustle up the pocket money to buy his post-Idol single, Lummis‚ career went straight from the pulpit to the sandpit. Hehehehe.

Finally, one last award, this time following the needless destruction of our practise room, recording studio and my former home last week.

The Herman Goerring Memorial Award for Services to Art and Culture: Kerry Prendergast, Mayor of Wellington

After championing Wellington as a hub of arts and culture over the past 2 years and with the city council $70 million in debt, Mayor 'gast wisely decided to spend $40 million more on building a bypass through the centre of the Te Aro precinct wiping out innumerable artist spaces and greenery. Ah.

POSTED BY Mark ON 01 April 2005